Imagine being in a casino… called Robinhood

Imagine you are a gambler enjoying a night at the casino. You decide to play Blackjack. Your hand is a ten and the dealer shows a 7.

"I would like to hit."

"No sir. You are only allowed to stand or surrender."

"That's not the rules of the game. Aren't you regulated?"

"Due to the votality your hand represents to the Casino, sir, you are only allowed to stand or surrender. These are extraordinary times."

"…are you only allowed to stand or surrender?"

"No sir. In fact, we may double down."

"Wait. What? You are the dealer, you can't put more money in that I didn't put in. That money doesn't even exist on the table!"

"Sir, you have a gambling problem. We might have to report the commission on you for attempting to hit with your hand because your friend told you that you should."

"Wait, are you trying to make me fold?"

"Sir, we reported you to the newspaper for being a degenerate."

"You guys are crazy!"

"Sir, we have decided that in order to protect your interests, you have decided to surrender."

Fuck you Robinhood.

submitted by /u/Poopdick_steve
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